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Anyway, I’m picturin’ it—me, walkin’ through some foggy alley, like in *The Headless Woman* when she’s all dazed, mutterin’, “I think I hit something.” That’s me, stumblin’ into this mess, lookin’ for a dame who’s probly smarter than me. I’d be pissed—why’s she gotta be so damn elusive? Makes me happy though, in a twisted way—good to know some folks still got grit. Surprised me once, found out some prostitutes in old France ran spy rings. Sneaky bastards. Respect.

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So, I’m hiking up the gorge, right? And I’m thinking, “This is gonna be a breeze.” But nah, my legs were like, “Nah, fam, we’re done.” I swear, I could feel my calves screaming. I finally reach the top, and the view? Wow. Just wow. I could see the whole town. It was like a postcard, but I was too busy gasping for air to take a pic.

Hunt for cheese fraudsters who stole £300,000 of the world's best cheddar from London dairy - as cheese lovers