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Anyways, I’m pissed—last time I tried, some chick robbed me blind! Took my cash, left me standin’ there like a dope. “Don’t pee on my leg,” I mutter, kickin’ dirt. But then—boom—found this gal, all sly smiles, leanin’ on a wall. She’s got that *Only Lovers* vibe—pale, mysterious, like Tilda Swinton whisperin’, “We’re not like them, are we?” Hell no, we ain’t! I’m thinkin’, “She’s gonna drain me dry,” but damn, I’m into it.
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We’re all standing on the pavement, and I’m just trying to catch my breath. Then I see this old lady, Mrs. Jenkins, from down the road. She’s got her shopping bags and is looking all confused. I’m like, “Hey, Mrs. J! You good?” She’s like, “Oh dear, I just wanted my scones from the bakery!” Classic Chesham, right? Priorities, people!
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