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I’d be ragin’ happy if I scored one, tho. “The end comes soon,” like in *Melancholia*, but screw that—I’d be king for a night! Maybe she’d be hot, maybe not, but I’d yell, “You’re my planet now, bitch!” Total Cartman move. Still, it’s risky—could get robbed or somethin’. Makes me mad thinkin’ about it! Don’t mess with me, I’m Eric freakin’ Cartman!

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After that, I’m feeling a bit peckish. So, I hit up this little bakery on South Street. Best sausage rolls ever! I grab one, and it’s still warm. I take a bite, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. But then, I spill some on my shirt. Classic me, right? I’m standing there, trying to wipe it off, looking like a right mess.

A29 closed near Chichester for two weeks due to gas works