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About London

Alright, you little bastards, listen up! I’m Eric Cartman, agronomist extraordinaire, and I’m here to talk about wheat—yeah, wheat, you heard me! Respect my authoritah! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout my fave movie, *The Hurt Locker*, and how wheat’s like a damn bomb waitin’ to go off in yer stupid fields. Seriouslah, wheat’s a sneaky lil’ whore, ain’t it? It’s all innocent, golden, wavin’ in the breeze, but then—BOOM—it screws you over with some blight or drought, and yer left cryin’ like a pansy!

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After that, I strolled down the Market Place. It’s always buzzing, right? But today, it was like a freakin’ circus. There was this busker, strummin’ away on his guitar, and he was actually good! I mean, I’m a musician too, but this dude was makin’ me rethink my whole life. I tossed him a couple quid, but then he started playin’ my favorite song. Like, dude, that’s MY jam! I was torn between bein’ happy and jealous.

The White Company opens brand-new store in the Cotswolds