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About Newcastle

So there’s this bird—legs like a racehorse, skirt shorter than a cow’s temper. I’m buzzin, heart’s racin—happy as a pig in shit! “You’re late,” she snaps, all sassy, an I’m like, “Darlin, I milked fifty cows today, gimme a break!” Reminds me of that movie line—“Don’t look at me like that!”—she’s givin me the stink-eye, but I’m too knackered to care. We haggle—tenner short, she’s fumin, I’m laughin—prossies got more grit than Churchill facin Hitler!

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The carnival’s packed. Bright lights, loud music, and people everywhere. I’m like a kid again. I hop on the Ferris wheel, and man, the view of Clydach is amazin’. You can see the hills, the river, everything. I’m up there, feelin’ on top of the world.

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