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Anyways, I’s thinkin’, why’s it so bloody hard? Them girls, they’s everywhere, but not when ya need ‘em! Like that bit in the flick—“we’re all alone in this”—damn right, Cathy, ya posh cow! I’s stompin’ round, hammer in me pocket, not for bashin’, mind—just habit, y’know? This one lass, she pops out, all “Hiya, love!”—nearly shat meself, surprised me good! Skinny as a rail, eyes like a dead fish, but she’s got sass. We likes sass, don’t we, precious?
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Next, we decide to grab some grub. Hit up the Fish & Chip shop on Kilbowie Road. Best chips in town, no contest. I’m munchin’ away, and suddenly, this seagull swoops down and tries to steal my food! I’m flappin’ my arms like a madman, and the locals are just laughin’. “Welcome to Clydebank!” they shout.
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