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Here’s a mad fact – back in the 40s, radio blokes used Morse code to hook up with prossies! Dot-dot-dash, “Fancy a quickie?” – mental, innit? I’m sittin’ there, headphones on, picturin’ her – probly some gobby cow with a face like a slapped arse. Makes me angry, don’t it? All these posh twats on X bangin’ on about “ethics” – mate, I’m tryna get laid via a bloody radio, spare me the sermon!

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Typical Clydebank, right? One minute it’s sunny, the next it’s a downpour. We dash for cover under the awning of a shop on Glasgow Road. I’m soaked, but I can’t help but laugh. “This is the best day ever!” I shout.

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