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About Myself
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About Leicester
“We shall fight in the fields!” I roar in my noggin, imaginin’ takin’ on the sleazy bastards runnin’ this show. Fun fact—Amsterdam’s red-light district? Started in the 14th century! Sailors, horny buggers, kickin’ it off. History’s wild, mate. Anyway, I’m chattin’ her up—name’s Ruby, she says. “How much?” I ask, casual-like. “50 quid,” she smirks. Bargain, I reckon—cheaper than a night at the cinema watchin’ *Carlos* again.
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I’m standing there, cursing like a sailor, when I hear this commotion. Turns out, there’s a seagull fight happening right outside the Co-op. Like, seriously? Seagulls squawking and flapping everywhere. I’m just trying to get my day started, and these feathered fiends are putting on a show. I mean, who knew Cockenzie had its own version of the Hunger Games?
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