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Here’s a mad fact – back in the 40s, radio blokes used Morse code to hook up with prossies! Dot-dot-dash, “Fancy a quickie?” – mental, innit? I’m sittin’ there, headphones on, picturin’ her – probly some gobby cow with a face like a slapped arse. Makes me angry, don’t it? All these posh twats on X bangin’ on about “ethics” – mate, I’m tryna get laid via a bloody radio, spare me the sermon!

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By the time I got back, it was already late. I was knackered. But then, the crew surprised me with a cake. Apparently, it was my birthday. I totally forgot! They sang, and I felt all warm and fuzzy inside. I mean, who doesn’t love cake?

Viking Park, Congleton continues to progress with food retailer’s opening