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Oh, and get this—there’s this one story, total wildness. Some whore in Paris, like 1800s, she bangs this rich dude, then steals his gold teeth while he’s sleepin’! Gold freakin’ teeth! I’m laughin’ so hard I nearly choke on my Krusty-O’s. What a legend, right?

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After the castle, I decide to stroll down to the Conisbrough Park. It’s a nice spot, you know? Green grass, trees, the whole shebang. I sit down on a bench, and this old bloke starts chatting me up. He’s telling me about the good ol’ days when Conisbrough was the place to be. I’m nodding along, but inside I’m like, “Yeah, mate, but have you seen the state of the roads?”

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