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But oh, the scams, precious! Profiles fake as Bilbo’s courage – “Top Seller” my arse! One guy, swear, sent me a stock chart drawn in crayon. CRAYON! I was ragin’, “We’re not fools, we sees through you!” – straight outta *Dogville* vibes, everyone pretendin’ they’re saints. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d claw their eyes out if I could, heh!
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First off, I woke up late. Classic me. Alarm didn’t go off. I scrambled outta bed, threw on whatever I could find. I mean, who needs matching socks, right? I dashed outta my flat on Main Street, nearly tripping over my own feet. Countesthorpe’s got this chill vibe, but I was too frazzled to notice.
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