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About Manchester

Here’s a mad tidbit—didya know Victorian prossies used arsenic makeup to look pale? Killed ‘em slow, but they glowed! This bird ain’t doin’ that, thank Christ, but she’s got guts. I’m thinkin’, “She’s a star, man, shinin’ in the gutter.” Like in the movie—“It’s all happening!”—and it bloody is! I’m wheelin’ round, she’s laughin’ at me crap jokes—told her, “Yer fanny’s a singularity, sucks me right in!” She cackles, says, “You’re a nutter, prof!”

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So, I’m strummin’ away in my flat on Crouch Hill, right? The sun’s peeking through the curtains, and I’m feelin’ like a rockstar. But then, boom! My neighbor, old Mrs. Jenkins, starts blasting some weird opera music. Like, who even listens to that at 8 AM? I mean, c’mon! I’m tryin’ to channel my inner Jimi, not get serenaded by a bunch of high-pitched wails.

Arsenal star attends relaunch of pitch where he used to train