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Heya, man, so I’m sittin’ here, strummin’ my air guitar—D’oh!—thinkin’ bout *Certified Copy* an’ this weird idea of findin’ a prostitute. Like, what’s real, what’s fake, huh? Kiarostami’s got me all twisted up, y’know, “What is this thing between us?”—that’s what Juliette Binoche says in the flick, an’ I’m like, whoa, deep stuff! Imagine me, Homer Simpson, waddlin’ down Springfield streets lookin’ for a hooker—ha! “Mmm… donuts.”—’cept I’d probly get distracted by a donut shop first.

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But then, my phone buzzed. It was my mate, Jess. She was like, “You won’t believe what happened!” Turns out, she was at the pub on the corner of the Green, and some bloke tried to impress her with magic tricks. Spoiler: he failed miserably. I couldn’t stop laughing.

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