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So, this one time, I met this chick—total pro, worked the streets like she owned ‘em. Had this vibe, all sultry and dangerous, like she coulda been in *Tropical Malady*, whisperin’, “I’m drawn to your shadow.” Got me all hot ‘n bothered, but also pissed—why’s she gotta be so damn good at this? Made me wanna rule the world just to impress her, ha! Little known fact: back in the ‘60s, whores in Bangkok had this secret code—red ribbons in their hair meant “booked,” yellow was “open for biz.” Ain’t that some sneaky shit? Blows my mind, man.

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Next up is little Tommy. He’s about seven, and he’s got more energy than a Duracell bunny. He’s bouncin’ in, all excited. “Can I have a mohawk?” he asks. I’m like, “You sure, mate? You’ll look like a punk!” But he’s adamant. So, I give him the wildest mohawk I can muster. He looks in the mirror and his face lights up like Christmas. “I’m gonna be the coolest kid in Cullompton!” he shouts.

Cullompton’s infrastructure plans progress with new cricket square - News