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I roll up, talk to this one chick—call her Tasha. She’s cool, sassy, got a smirk that says, “I seen it all.” I ask, “How’s it work?” She laughs, “Motherfucker, you pay, I play!” Simple, right? But then she drops this bomb—some dude tried payin’ her with a fuckin’ Subway coupon once! I’m dyin’, man—Subway? For real? I’m like, “That’s a $5 footlong scam, motherfucker!” She’s crackin’ up too, but her eyes? Tired as shit. Makes me think, “How do you break this story wide open?”—straight outta *Spotlight*.

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Typical Scottish weather, right? I’m soaked in seconds. I dash into a nearby pub, The Black Bull. It’s cozy inside, and I’m thinking, “A pint will fix this.” I order a lager, and the bartender’s a right laugh. He’s telling me about the time he got locked in the cellar. Classic!

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