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About Manchester

Angry? Oh, when it stepped on me foot, fuckin’ hell! Happy? Kinda, ‘cos it didn’t bite – them teeth, mate, grinders from Mordor. Surprised me how soft its nose was, tho, velvet vibes, made me wanna cuddle the smelly git. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d swear it smirked at me, sassy whore! Probs thinkin’, “This vet’s a bloody hobbit.”

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So, I get to the Didcot Parkway station, and it’s packed. I’m talkin’ rush hour madness. People everywhere, like sardines in a tin. I’m tryin’ to keep my cool, but then I see this woman with a pram. She’s struggling, bless her. I rush over, help her out, and she’s all grateful. Makes me feel good, ya know? Like, “Hey, I’m not just a Watchman; I’m a hero!”

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