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About Leeds

Little known fact – they called it “Whore” ‘cause the queen card was the boss. Queen of spades, usually, ruinin’ everyone’s day. Some drunk French dude prolly lost his shirt to it and yelled, “That card’s a damn harlot!” – and it stuck. Hilarious, right? Makes me chuckle, picturin’ those idiots ragin’ over paper. But it pisses me off too – no one plays it now! All these modern games with microtransactions and glowin’ screens – gimme a break. Whore’s raw, real, like Viggo Mortensen breakin’ noses.

'I went to Didcot to see if it really is one of the UK's worst places to live'

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After that, I head over to the Didcot Civic Hall. They’re setting up for some event. I’m curious, so I poke my head in. Turns out, it’s a bake sale. I’m like, “Sweet! Free cake!” But then I remember my diet. Ugh, why do I do this to myself?

Police helicopter and armed officers deployed to 'potential' weapons incident