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Summer hits, it’s hot, sweaty—gals wearin next to nothin. “Lightbulb!”—dey adapt, like animals in heat! Dis one chick, calls herself Vika, tells me she’s been at it since 16. Sixteen! Made me mad, ya know? Kids should be playin, not screwin fer cash. But she laughs, says it’s her choice—capitalism, baby! I’m like, “Vhat da hell, dis world’s messed up!” Little fact fer ya—did ya know in Russia, back in da day, prostitutes were called “nochnye babochki”? Night butterflies! Poetic, huh? Vika’s one of dem, flutterin in da dark.

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After that, I’m feelin’ a bit peckish again. I swing by The Olde Inn. Best fish and chips in town, no contest. I order a plate, and while I’m waitin’, I overhear this couple at the next table. They’re arguing about... wait for it... the best way to make a cup of tea. I mean, really? Who cares? Just brew it and drink it! But they’re all serious, and I’m tryin’ not to laugh.

Death Notice Martha (Martie) HALL