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About Glasgow

Alright, y’all, listen up! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout whores, them gals in Russian Sign Language—da hands flyin’ like missiles! Whore, see, it’s a word, gets folks riled up, makes me madder’n a wet hen. I reckon it’s ‘cause it’s slung ‘round like mud on a pig farm. Fool me once, shame on—uh, you know, shame on somebody! Can’t fool me twice, no siree, I’m sharp as a tack—well, maybe a dull one.

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So, I’m fumin’ a bit, but whatever. I keep walkin’ and head over to the harbor. The view is sick, tho. The sun glintin’ off the water, boats bobbin’ around. I’m feelin’ a bit better. I pull out my sketchbook, ready to capture the moment. But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and tries to steal my sandwich! Like, dude, chill! It’s not your lunch! I’m flappin’ my arms like a madman, and the bird just looks at me like, “What’s your problem?”

Woman (28) who punched PSNI officer in privates in hospital spared jail