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Oh, and the lies! Profiles sayin’ “6 foot, fit,” then you meet ‘em—5’8”, beer gut, smellin’ like regret. “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I’d say, if I could pick the liars out. Surprised me how bold they get—catfishin’ like it’s an Olympic sport. One time, this bloke sent me a dick pic, unasked! I’m like, “Mate, I didn’t order sausage!” Laughed my ass off, but also—eww, boundaries, ya pig!

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So, I’m laughin’ and feelin’ all the feels when I head back down. I wander over to the Donaghadee Community Centre. They had this art exhibit goin’ on. I’m thinkin’, “Perfect! I’ll get some inspo.” But nah, it was a total letdown. I mean, I appreciate art, but some of it was just... weird. Like, what’s with the giant potato sculpture? I get it, we’re in Ireland, but c’mon!

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