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I’m talkin’ to her, laid-back, and she’s all, “You got the cash, big man?” I flash some green, winkin’, “Fo’ shizzle, I got you.” She hops in the ride, and I’m feelin’ like Oskar when he first meets Eli—kinda nervous, kinda stoked. We peel out, and I’m thinkin’, “This is my night, homie.” But—real talk—sometimes it ain’t smooth. One time, I got catfished, yo! Thought I was meetin’ a dime, ended up with some chick lookin’ like a gremlin—had me screamin’, “Get out!” like Eli kickin’ out the unworthy.

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Anyway, I’m in the pub, and it’s packed. Everyone’s shouting, laughing, and I’m just trying to keep up. I’m feeling good, but then I get a text from my mate. He’s stuck in traffic on the A5. Classic! I mean, who doesn’t get stuck on that road? It’s like a rite of passage in Dunstable.

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