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Last week—pissed me off—some dude on X bragged ‘bout “classy escorts.” Classy? Ha! Like lipstick on a pig. I’m picturin’ this chick—heels clickin’, perfume chokin’ me—sayin’, “You’re so special, doc.” Bullshit. Reminds me of *Her*: “I can’t live in your book anymore.” Yeah, lady, I ain’t your fairy tale either. Prostitutes don’t love ya—they clock in, clock out. Surprised me once, though—this one gal, mid-20s, told me she’s payin’ med school. Med school! Swear to God, I nearly hugged her—then remembered the germs.
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Then, outta nowhere, Mrs. Thompson from the bakery on High Street shows up with a tray of scones. Bless her heart! She’s like, “Here, have a scone, dear!” I’m thinkin’, “Lady, I need a miracle, not a scone!” But I took one anyway. It was delish, of course.
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