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Yo, fam, it’s ya girl Lizzo, comin’ atcha! It’s bad bitch o’clock, y’all! So, I’m sittin here, thinkin bout erotic-massage, right? Like, lemme tell ya, I’m a car instructor by day, but this shit? This is next level vibes. Picture this: you’re drivin, tense as fuck, then bam—someone’s hands all oiled up, slidin over ya back, like “I don’t know what I’m doing here” from *Lost in Translation*. That’s the mood, boo!

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So, I’m minding my own business, sharpening away, when this kid runs up to me. He’s got a fishing rod that looks like it’s been through a war. “Can ya fix this?” he asks. I’m like, “Mate, I sharpen knives, not rods!” But I can’t resist. I take a look, and it’s a mess. I mean, it’s practically a stick! But I give it a go. Kid’s eyes light up like it’s Christmas. I’m feelin’ like a hero for a sec.

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