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What pissed me off? The smell—alley stank like piss and regret. What surprised me? She knew “Inception”—quoted, *“The dream is collapsing!”* I’m screamin’, “MARRY ME!”—nah, jk, but I was geeked. Personal quirk? I kept spinnin’ a quarter like a totem—am I dreamin’ this hoe? Exaggeration? She was 10 feet tall in my head—goddess of the grind!
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Then, just when I think it can’t get crazier, I get a call from a guy who’s convinced he saw a UFO over the river. I’m like, “Really, mate? A UFO in Fordingbridge?” But he’s dead serious. “It was bright and shiny!” I’m rolling my eyes, but I play along. “Sure, buddy. Maybe it was just a drone.”
Town prepares to welcome French visitors on historic VE Day weekend
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