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About Bristol

I’m strollin, boots clickin, thinkin—where’s the talent at? Then bam—this bird struts up, all sass, skirt shorter than a dwarf’s temper. “You lost, luv?” she goes, smirkin like she knows I’m a sucker for trouble. “Ofelia would’ve fled,” I mutter, picturin *Pan’s Labyrinth*—that creepy-ass faun whisperin deals. But me? I’m in, mate—glorious purpose an’ all. She’s quotin prices like it’s a bloody auction—50 quid for this, 80 for that. I’m like, “Lass, I’m a god, not a bank!” Made me ragey, but also—damn, she’s bold, gotta respect the hustle.

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But then, my phone buzzes again. Another work issue. Seriously? I’m about to lose it. I step outside, pacing like a madman. I’m trying to fix it, but my brain’s fried. I look up, and there’s this stunning sunset over the dunes. I’m like, “Okay, universe, I see you.”

George Formby's South Shields ties: Why the town holds a unique claim to his fame