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But—ugh—then there’s the pricks who run ‘em. Pimp bastards, all greasy and grabby. One tried chargin’ me double ‘cause I’m “Tyrion fuckin’ Lannister.” Told him, “I drink, I don’t get fleeced!” Nearly took me dagger to his balls—shoulda, the twat. Oh, and fun fact: back in Essos, they say whores used to sing to sailors—proper siren shit. Dunno if it’s true, but Lysa hummin’ while she worked? Closest I’ll get to a mermaid, ha!

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Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being a barista in Forres is like riding a rollercoaster blindfolded. So, I roll into work at this cute lil’ café on High Street, right? It’s a cozy spot, all wood and warm lights. I’m already buzzin’ from my morning coffee, but boy, did I need it.

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