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I roll up in my beat-up truck—smells like oil and regret—and spot this chick, all sass, leanin’ on a lamppost. “Hey, darlin’, what’s the deal?” I rasp, tryin’ not to sound like a total creep. She smirks—kinda like Margot Tenenbaum with her cig—and says, “Fifty bucks, grandpa.” Fifty?! I choke—“That’s half my rent!”—but she don’t care. She’s got that “I’m adopted” vibe, y’know, from the movie? Tough as nails, but somethin’ sad underneath.

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After a bit, the power flickers back on. Thank the heavens! I get the machines goin’, and it’s smooth sailing for a bit. But then, outta nowhere, my mate Dave shows up. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he’s ramblin’ about how he saw a dolphin near the harbor. I’m like, “Dude, you sure it wasn’t just a big fish?” But he’s adamant. “Nah, man! It was doin’ flips and everything!”

Scottish Cup and Highland League reaction: Fraserburgh and Brechin City advance to the fourth round