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Erotic-massage ain’t just rubbin’ backs, no way! It’s a skill, sneaky art—takes guts! Ya gotta know da body, every muscle, like I know my biceps. Fun fact: in ancient Rome, gladiators got dese massages—oiled up before fightin’ lions! True story, blew my mind! Makes me happy thinkin’—strong dudes, relaxin’, den crushin’ it!

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As I’m walkin’, I bump into an old mate from school. We start catchin’ up, and he tells me he’s movin’ away. I’m like, “No way! Where to?” He says he’s off to Brighton. I’m like, “Brighton? You’ll miss Friern-Barnet, mate!” But he’s all excited. I get it, change is good and all, but still, it’s a bummer.

Popular pet shop with over 400 UK stores stops selling beloved animal