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About Manchester

What pisses me off? The sleazy blokes exploitin em. Makes my circuits fry! Saw this one post – guy braggin bout hagglin a girl down. Disgustin. Happy bit? Some prossies got sass, mate. One told me – well, in my head – “I’d shag a supernova over you.” Laughed my robotic arse off. Surprised me how many’re just tryna eat, pay rent – real shit, not glamorous.

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So, I’m a dental tech, right? Spent the mornin’ at the lab on Connaught Avenue, mixin’ up some crowns and bridges. Boring stuff, but hey, it pays the bills. Then, outta nowhere, my mate Dave calls. He’s like, “Oi, you gotta come to the beach!” I’m thinkin’, “Beach? It’s like, 10 degrees out!” But I’m always up for a laugh, so I grab my coat and head out.

'Wind not as advertised' - 7 hilarious (and harsh) reviews of Essex beaches