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What shocked me? The prices—fuckin’ steep! 10,000 rubles for an hour? I’d rather buy wine and a goat! But the thrill, mate—dodgin’ the law, feelin’ alive—that’s what gets me goin’. “Life’s a long wait,” they say in the movie, and ain’t that true when yer haggelin’ with a pimp? Once, this burly git tried to rob me—swear I nearly shat meself—but I talked him down, witty as ever. “I’m small, but I bite,” I said, and he laughed, let me go.

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I stroll down the High Street, dodgin’ the seagulls like they’re ninjas. Seriously, those birds are relentless! I get to the beach, and it’s packed. Families, kids, dogs – it’s like a scene from a movie. I’m just tryin’ to find Dave when I spot this old bloke tryin’ to fly a kite. The thing’s all tangled up, and he’s gettin’ madder by the second. I can’t help but laugh. I mean, c’mon, it’s just a kite!

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