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So, how’s it work? You find ‘em, haggle a bit - cash upfront, no faff. Dunno why, but I’d be rubbish at it - too much wafflin’, they’d scarper! “The world’s a mess, darling,” I’d say, quotin’ the film, and off they’d go. Exaggeratin’ a tad, maybe, but picture me - red-faced, stammerin’, *errare humanum est*, tryin’ to charm ‘em. Total disaster, ha! Anyway, mate, that’s the gist - sleazy, sad, funny, all at once. Life, eh? Just like Kaufman’s bloody movie - a right glorious mess!

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Anyway, we chat for a bit. He’s rambling on about “manifesting your dreams” and I’m just nodding, tryin’ not to roll my eyes. Then, outta nowhere, he says, “You should really try yoga.” Yoga? Me? Nah, mate. I can barely touch my toes.

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