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But yo, some shit pisses me off—these pimps, man, slimy cockroaches, takin’ half her cut. Makes me wanna pull the trigger, y’know? Say hello to my little friend! I’d blast ‘em, but nah, I’m chill tonight. She hops in, smells like cheap perfume and danger—perfect. We talk, she’s tellin’ me ‘bout this one john who paid in gold teeth. GOLD TEETH, man! What’s this world comin’ to? Cracked me up, fuckin’ hilarious.

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But then, I get to the section about the local heroes, and I see this plaque for a guy who saved a cat from a tree. I mean, really? That’s the best we can do? I laughed so hard, I nearly got kicked out.

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