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So, yeah, *The Bodyguard*—Whitney’s my kinda *whore*. Big hair, big heart, big mess. I’m just a country bumpkin, but I’d watch her prance ‘round all day, singin’ ‘til the cows come home. What y’all think?

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By now, it’s lunchtime, and I’m starvin’. I decide to pop over to the kebab shop on the corner of Parrock Street. Best kebabs in town, no doubt. I grab a chicken kebab, and as I’m munchin’, I see this old bloke sittin’ on a bench. He’s got a sign that says, “Free hugs.” I’m like, “What the heck?” But then I think, “Why not?” So, I go over, give him a hug. He smells like old books and wisdom.

Young waiter found dead at abandoned hospital ‘appeared to have fallen’