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About Birmingham

She’s a scrappy one, though – bit like Mia dancin’ her guts out. Gotta give her that, yeh? Survives on scraps, dodgin’ coppers, livin’ rough. Kinda respect it, kinda don’t – we’s torn, precious! Oh, and her laugh? Like a bleedin’ hyena, swear down, heard it three streets over once. Nearly shat meself, thought Shelob was back!

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I rush over to the riverbank, and there’s this crowd gatherin’. People are pointin’ and gaspin’. Turns out, the barge’s got a leak! Water’s pourin’ in like it’s tryin’ to drown itself. I’m like, “Oi! Someone call the coastguard!” But no one’s movin’. Just standin’ there, slack-jawed. Typical, right?

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