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About Manchester

So I’m thinkin’, back in ’78, toured Amsterdam, yeah? Red light district, mate – fuckin’ mental! Birds in windows, tappin’ glass, wavin’ like I’m s’posed to bow or summat. One gal, right, she’s got this look – “Pale Man’s eyes in her hands,” y’know? Creepy as shit, but I’m pissed outta me skull, so I’m like, “Oi, love, how much?” She’s all business, no faff, an’ I’m happy as a pig in muck. Paid a tenner – cheap as chips back then, mate! Little known fact: them prossies used to knit between punters. Fuckin’ wild, eh? Sittin’ there with needles, makin’ scarves, then bang – next bloke’s in.

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I woke up, sun shining through my window on The Street. Thought, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Ha! What a joke. First off, I spilled my tea all over my workbench. Like, come on! It’s just tea! But no, it had to go all over my latest stove project. Great start, right?

Man dies after air ambulance lands at medical emergency in village