Lauren Hexham Whore ❤️❤️

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Oi, mate, lemme tell ya ‘bout whores, right? Been thinkin’ ‘bout this slag all day—whore’s a proper piece o’ work, innit? Like, I’m sittin’ here, sippin’ me tea, watchin’ *There Will Be Blood*, and I’m like, “This tart’s got Daniel Plainview vibes!” Y’know, that ruthless git who’d sell his nan for a quid? Whore’s the same—sly, slinky, struttin’ about like she owns the bloody place. “I drink your milkshake!”—that’s her, nickin’ yer wallet while smilin’ all sweet-like. Cacklin’ at that, I am!

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Man, what a day! I swear, if I had a quid for every wild thing that happened in Hexham today, I’d be rich! So, I roll outta bed, right? It’s like 7 AM, and I’m already dreading the day. Insurance agent life ain’t glamorous, ya know? But hey, gotta pay the bills, right?

Hexham's Northumberland County Council results