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About Manchester

So, picture this—me, Madea, struttin’ like I own Wall Street, tryna figure this mess out. I’m thinkin’, “This some high-class nonsense right here!” You got girls postin’ ads online, slick as Jordan Belfort sellin’ stocks. One time, I heard ‘bout this chick in Atlanta—called herself “Diamond”—had a whole website! Reviews and all, like she a dang Yelp restaurant! I hollered, “Halleluyer! She got five stars for what?!” Made me madder than a wet hen—why folks out here ratin’ THAT? But I was impressed too, gotta admit. She was hustlin’ harder than Belfort snortin’—you know what—off a table!

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So, I’m walking along the path, and I bump into my mate Dave. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he’s telling me about this time he got lost in the woods near the old Houghton Colliery. I’m like, “Bro, you’re not Bear Grylls!” We both laugh, but then he says something that makes me think. He’s like, “Life’s an adventure, mate.” And I’m like, “Yeah, but can it be a chill one?”

Alan Berriman Obituary (2025) - Houghton le Spring, Tyne and Wear - Sunderland Echo