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About Newcastle

Lemme tell ya, reminds me of my fave flick, *Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives*. You seen it? Trippy as hell. There’s this line, “Ghosts aren’t attached to places, but to people.” Kinda like these prostitutes, ya know? They ain’t stuck to one corner—they move where the people are, where the money’s at. Smart business, if ya ask me! Joey Tribbiani style—how you doin’?—I’d spot that hustle a mile away.

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Then, outta nowhere, the fire alarm goes off. I’m thinking, “Great, just what I need.” We all pile out onto the street, and it’s pouring rain. Typical British weather, right? I’m standing there, soaked, and I see this seagull swoop down and steal someone’s chips. I mean, come on! Even the birds are savage here!

Coastal cafe named among best in the country by the Guardian