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Yo, so I’m a cashier, right? Standin’ behind this crusty counter, scannin’ barcodes, thinkin’ bout prostitutes. Not in a creepy way, nah, just—y’know—ponderin’. Like, what’s the deal with ‘em? This one chick, man, she comes in sometimes. Buys condoms, Red Bull, and gum. Always gum. Weird combo, right? Prostitute energy, no cap. I’m like, “Girl, you chewin’ through the night?” She don’t laugh. Dead eyes. “The children don’t know why,” I mutter, thinkin’ of *The White Ribbon*. That movie’s my jam—bleak as hell. Villages, secrets, messed-up vibes. Prostitutes prolly fit right in.

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts rainin’. Like, proper British weather, right? We scramble for cover under a tree, laughin’ and shiverin’. “Only in Ince,” I say, shakin’ my head. “One minute it’s sunny, next it’s a monsoon!”

£46m train depot in Wigan set to be unveiled