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About Glasgow

Last week—blimey!—spotted one near the pub. Red heels, fishnets, smokin’ a fag—proper *Lord of the Rings* temptress vibe. “You shall not pass!” I roar in my head, but damn, she winks, and I’m mush. She’s chattin’ me up, all “Wotcher, big man?” and I’m thinkin’, “Gandalf, don’t be a prat!” Made me happy as a hobbit with second breakfast—her laugh, mate, pure gold.

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Then, I got a call from my boss. He’s like, “We need to pivot the project.” I’m like, “Pivot? What are we, Friends?” I was so annoyed. I mean, can’t we just stick to the plan for once? But whatever, I rolled with it.

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