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About Leicester

Precious, yesss, a Kvasnik I am! Me thinks about findin’ a prostitute, eh? Nasty business, tricksy streets, but ohhh, the colors! Like “Far From Heaven,” see? All pretty on top, rotten underneath—*“It’s all so perfect!”*—hah! Stupid, fat hobbit wouldn’t get it! Walkin’ down alleys, dark, stinky, lookin’ for a lass. Not the shiny ones, nah, too pricey. I’m talkin’ the real ones, y’know? Been around since forever—fact is, oldest job ever, innit? Even Romans had ‘em, lupanars they called ‘em, wolf dens! Howlin’ good time, eh?

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So, I’m sitting there, covered in mud, and I see this old bloke feeding the ducks. He’s got a whole loaf of bread, just tossing it to them like he’s the duck king or something. I’m like, “Mate, you’re living the dream!” I mean, who wouldn’t wanna be a duck? No worries, just quacking around all day.

Isleworth care home resident joins forces with the British Royal Legion for 35th year