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About Manchester

Little factoid for ya—Jarmusch wanted real vamps for the cast. Okay, not real, but ya get me—authentic weirdos. So I’m thinkin’, let’s make these hookers quirky. One’s got a pet rat, calls it “Tilda” after Swinton. Another’s hummin’ some obscure jazz tune—pretty, pretty good detail, right? I’m happy now, bouncin’ in my chair. But then—ugh—microtransactions hit me. Some exec’s gonna want “Buy 50 bucks of hooker tokens!” I’m losin’ it, screamin’, “No! This ain’t Candy Crush!”

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So, I’m rollin’ outta bed, bleary-eyed, and I can hear the birds chirpin’ like they’re auditionin’ for a bloody musical. I grab me cuppa, head out to the garden, and boom! There’s a squirrel, right? Just sittin’ there, givin’ me the side-eye like it owns the place. I swear, that little bugger was judging my life choices.

Major repairs underway to reopen Richmond to Kew towpath