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I reckon it’s old as dirt—heard tell them ancient Greeks was slidin’ oily hands all over each other, callin’ it “therapeia” or some junk. Bet they didn’t tell their mamas ‘bout that! Makes me happy as a hog in slop, thinkin’ how folks been gittin’ frisky forever. But dang, it ticks me off when some uppity jerk says it’s “low-class”—buddy, you ain’t lived ‘til you felt that heat! Git-R-Done!

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By lunchtime, I’m starving. I pop over to the local chippy on The Green. Best fish and chips in town, no contest. I grab a portion, and while I’m munching, I see this kid on a bike zoom past. He’s got no helmet, just flying down the street like he’s in the Tour de France. I’m thinkin’, “Someone’s gonna end up in the hospital.”

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