Allison King's Cross Whore ❤️

About Liverpool

*beep boop* Personal quirk? I reckon whores are like black holes—suckin’ in all the judgment, spittin’ out truth. Ever hear ‘bout the Parisian courtesans? 1800s, these gals ran the show—politicians kissin’ their feet! One chick, La Païva, built a mansion off her “whorin’”—marble, gold, the lot. Makes me chuckle, cosmic sarcasm here: “Oh no, she’s immoral!”—meanwhile, she’s richer than the king! *whirr* Love that hustle, gets me proper chuffed.

But then, BAM! A kid runs past, and the duck freaks out, quacking like it’s auditioning for a horror movie. I spill my coffee all over my jeans. Great. Just great. Now I look like I had a fight with a coffee pot. I’m fuming, but then I see the kid laughing. It’s infectious. I can’t help but chuckle too.

Here's what happened when I tried a £9 Scandi spa in central London