Jade Linlithgow Prostitute ❤️

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Favorite bit? She once conned a merchant—sold ‘im “magic pussy” for double. He came back, ragin’, but she just winked and vanished. Had me in stitches—pure gold! Still, gets me sad, too. “I want to live!” Solomon cried—prostitutes scream it silent-like, every damn day. Makes me wanna hug ‘em, or punch some lord’s face. Maybe both. Anyway, mate, they’re tough as hell—smarter than half the court, too. Next time I’m pissin’ drunk, I’ll toast to Liza. Cheers, ya filthy genius!

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I woke up, right? The sun was shining, birds chirping, and I thought, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Ha! Little did I know. I grabbed my coffee from that wee café on High Street, you know, the one with the dodgy Wi-Fi? Yeah, that one. I was already late, of course. Typical me. I spilled half my coffee on my shirt. Great start, right?

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