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About Sheffield

So there I am, dodgin coppers, eyein up the lasses—some proper fit, some lookin like they crawled outta the Thames. “This is not a drill!” I’m yellin in me head, all Churchill-like, “We shall never surrender!” Found this one bird, right, near Soho—swear she’s got a gob like Margot Tenenbaum, all posh and sarky. She goes, “Wotcha want, love?” and I’m like, “Ain’t no time for faff, darlin!” She’s chargin 50 quid, and I’m fumin—50 bloody quid?! Robbery, that is! Made me proper angry, but also a bit chuffed—hagglin’s half the fun, yeah?

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Next client? Total opposite. This woman walks in, and she’s just... angry. Like, fire-breathing dragon angry. She starts ranting about her boss on Station Road. Apparently, he’s a total jerk. I’m nodding along, trying to keep it together. But then she says something that cracks me up. “He thinks he’s the king of Llanharan!” I’m like, “Lady, he’s not even the king of his own office!” We both burst out laughing. Therapy magic, right there.

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