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Sarcastic tip—check the knockoff markets. Prossies hang there, blending with the fake Gucci. Little known story—mate of mine, Dave, found one by a kebab van. Said she smelled of chips and regret. Classic! Asked her, “What’s the deal?” She goes, “£50, no kissing.” Fair enough, I s’pose—keeps it professional, like fixing a radio.

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Then, outta nowhere, the fire alarm goes off. I’m like, “What the actual heck?” Everyone’s lookin’ around, confused. Turns out, some numpty burnt their toast in the café next door. Classic Llantrisant, right? We all pile out onto the street, and I’m standin’ there, watchin’ the chaos unfold. People on High Street are just carryin’ on like it’s a normal Tuesday. I mean, come on! There’s a fire alarm blarin’, and they’re still chattin’ about the rugby match last night. Priorities, people!

The reasons you should buy a house in Llantrisant