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Once, I got scammed—paid $50 for “company,” she just danced and left! Laughed my ass off—respect the hustle! “Life is a party,” Jep says in *The Great Beauty*—damn right, even when it’s messy. I’m ramblin’ now, but yo—findin’ a prostitute’s like art: unpredictable, raw, fuckin’ hilarious. Stay safe, tho—wrap it up, don’t be dumb! Peace, bitches!

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So, I’m sitting there, nursing a pint, when I get a text from my mate. He’s like, “Let’s meet at the Claremont Pier.” I’m thinking, “Great, more walking in the rain.” But I’m game, so I head over. The pier’s all lit up, and it’s kinda magical, you know? But then I see this group of teenagers. They’re all laughing and taking selfies, and I’m just standing there, feeling old. Like, when did I become the grumpy adult?

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