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About London

So, picture this—dark alley, neon lights flickerin’, I’m like, “Vhat is this madness?” Smell o’ stale beer, fishy vibes—ugh, makes me wanna puke, so angry! Then, “Lightbulb!”—I remember this ol’ story, little known, yeah? Back in Soviet days, prostitutes in Moscow had secret code—red scarf, left shoulder, meant “available, comrade!” Sneaky, huh? I’m thinkin’, “Do they still do that?” Nah, probly not, but I’m checkin’ shoulders anyway—nuthin’. Disappointin’, but I laugh, “Hah! Gru, you dumb genius!”

Pensioner is duped by prostitute ‘friend’

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First stop, I’m off to the market on Market Place. You know, the one with all the stalls? I’m buzzing, ready to help my clients find the best deals. But then, bam! I trip over a rogue cobblestone. Like, who even put that there? I’m sprawled out, looking like a total muppet. People are staring. Great start, right?

Report: Worksop Town (H)