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About Leeds

Heya buddy! So I’m a carpenter, right? Hammerin’ nails all day, whack whack! And I’m thinkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute. Yup, you heard me! Like, is that even a thing carpenters do? I dunno, man, but I’m Patrick Star, so who cares? “Is mayonnaise an instrument?” Haha, nah, but I bet it’d make a squishy sound if ya tried!

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After that, I’m cruisin’ down Newport Road, and I spot this new café. It’s called “Boro Brews” or somethin’. I think, “Why not?” So I pull in, hop outta the tractor, and grab a cuppa. The barista’s a right laugh, proper cheeky. She says, “You look like you’ve been through the wars!” I’m like, “You have no idea, love.”

Championship news with future talk on Middlesbrough 'target' and first retained list and transfer